Never let success get to your head; never let failure get to your heart.”- Anonymous
When we have failed in our life, everybody has comforted us by saying that failure is a part of life or failure is the stepping stone to success, but nobody taught us how to deal with it. How to deal with the anxiety and depression that we feel when we fail. How to regain the self-confidence that we lost in our failure.
Other than these, there are many other factors that contribute to our post-failure phase like a sense of helplessness, low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and lack of supportive relationships.
Nothing in life is permanent. Failure is also a phase that will go away and then you will experience success, just don’t give up.
Accepting failure is one the most crucial things you should learn to experience success.
Below are the ways that can help you to embrace your failure and start putting your efforts towards success:
- Accept your failure – Many people after failing stay in denial for a long period of time. They blame themselves and sometimes others for their defeat. They feel embarrassed, ashamed, or sad which can lead to anxiety or severe depression.
It is necessary to accept your failure to move on and leave that phase behind. Mourne your defeat for a bit and then embrace it and try improving it.
- Avoid temporary relief – Using drugs and alcohol can provide you with distractions for a bit. However, this is not the permanent solution. They will never motivate you to improve your competency and put higher efforts to achieve success.
- Use healthy coping methods – Instead of using drugs, alcohol, and food for relief, try calling your friends and family.
Talk to them, and you will feel more relief and less stress. Other healthy coping methods are meditation, playing your favorite sports, exercising, or simply walking are few among others.
- Be realistic about your defeat – People have a tendency to blame others for their own inefficiency due to which they sometimes become irrational and unrealistic. We need to understand the true cause of our failures and try to improve them to experience success the next time.
- Read biographies – Read and research about famous people who failed in their life before achieving success.
You will learn how they deal with this and what are skills that you should focus on to bounce back in the race. After reading about them you can relate yourself with them and you will learn that failure is something that everybody has to face in their life.
- Focus on improvement – Failure is a teacher; a harsh one, but the best. – Thomas J Watson
Which I think is true. If we observe, failure teaches us the best lesson. They highlight the points we are lacking in and the points which need more improvement. So that we can put more effort into the weak point and try achieving excellence.
Don’t take failure as a sign of defeat. One cannot escape failure. So, there is no choice left, accept embracing it, and move on. I hope the above steps will help you cope with the post-failure struggle in a much healthier way. If you think you are still struggling with failure and nothing is giving you relief, then don’t be afraid of seeking professional help. No matter how embarrassed or disheartened you are, just remember that there are experts who have dedicated their lives to helping such people.